The V Spot is back for 2026, a new studio, a new suit, even a second chin. Let’s do the news. Thought for the day “Ambition is a disease and your bandwidth is imaginary. 📺” Happy Friday.
While you were busy “aligning stakeholders” and “socializing the roadmap,” the retail world continued its slow-motion car crash into the future. The post-NRF glitter has settled, the hangovers remain, and it turns out our “innovation” is just a high-tech way to make simple things difficult.
In this week’s Nearly News:
The LLM Spouse: Mirakl says 70% of you trust bots for gift research. I say 70% of you have given up on human connection. We’ve reached peak “Agentic Commerce”, where the bot buys the gift, and eventually, just goes to the birthday dinner for you.
The 60-Second Failure: “Build a store in minutes.” Brilliant. Now you can experience the crushing weight of a failed business before your kettle has even boiled.
Waitrose Vibe Checks: Facial recognition isn’t for crime, ’s for “Luxury Friction.” If the AI sees a North Face jacket that hasn’t been to a ski resort, the doors stay locked.
The Ozempic Pivot: We’re literally resizing the global supply chain because the “jab” is making the target market disappear. Expect ‘The Shrinking Man’ subscription service soon.
The Magento Zombie: Declared “Not Dead” for the 47th consecutive month. It’s the Rasputin of eCommerce, you can’t kill it, you can’t migrate away, and there’s always an agency in the UK willing to perform the exorcism.
Retail is moving fast. Usually in the wrong direction. If you’re tired of the hyper-positive “thought leader” drivel and want a 6-minute industry autopsy instead, this is for you.
Watch the full episode of The V Spot below. 👇
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