Welcome to the V spot, your home for the ecomm nearly news. I like nonsense, it wakes up the brain cells. Fantasy is a necessary ingredient in living” Happy Halloween and it is probably no coincidence that Zuck scared us all this week. Reminded us how great they are at tech but awful at product. The new Raybans made attack of the nerds look more like a horror movie than a top shelf comedy. Amazon blamed AI for all their layoffs - not the layoffs but their crassly pulled together PR schtick which told us they are GLP-1ing their workforce in the hope GPT will be a better option. Long live the workforce we say. Let’s do they news.
Story 1. Why fit in when you were born to stand out. Walmart got in the scary mood early this week announcing not 1 but 2 Black Friday events in the month of November. But only only Cyber Monday event. Dates and places vary for the 2 events in a plan that seems like it was executed by their black friday muse Dr Seuss. Rumour was they considered changing the name of the event to Green Eggs and Ham Friday.
Story 2. Gymshark are continuing their US expansion and going in a direction that would make your Eyes Lips Face water. They adopted a Dicks first policy. They will be launching their gymwear in 12 Dicks stores with gear tailored to the outdoors market. Dicks are the first US retailer to wholesale the brand. I like the sound of that discount.
Story 3. Cookie Cutter approach it aint. Cookie cutter maker (yes this is a thing) Ann Clark saw the episodes of the SImpsons 2 decades ago foreseeing the Trump presidency. Upon doing so they pulled manufacturing back to Vermont where their long term bets are now coming to fruition. Everything they make is sourced in the US, save parchment paper which is sourced from France. The American dream is alive and well.
Story 4. Festive News now and Target revealed Hot Santa is back. Though this year he dropped the Keto diet for GLP 1 and well, the jury is out. Hot Santa may just be Santa this year. But, we are told he is happy in himself. Good for him.
Story 5. EBays earnings were out this week again. This is the first time they had a quarter north of $20BN GMV. Also a tree fell in the woods and there was no one there to hear it. We ask, did it make any sound?
Story 6. Shopify came up smelling of roses midweek as they announced their strategic partnership with Estee Lauder Group to help reimagine Digital beauty commerce. It is a marquee name for the Canadian tech company who are standing down Mr Beast as the face and beard of enterprise logos.
Story 7 - Plucky Coffee Chain Starbucks have started to slow the rot turning several quarters of decline into growth. CEO Brian Niccol said he will continue on his mission to simplify the menu. Here’s a cliff note Brian - today I am ordering. - Trenta, half-decaf, quad-shot, ristretto, oat milk, extra-hot, upside-down caramel macchiato with 5 pumps sugar-free vanilla, 3 pumps toffee nut, 2 pumps hazelnut, no foam, light whip, extra caramel drizzle, and cinnamon dolce topping
Story 8 in this bumper episode. UPS job cuts reached 34K this year. Aided largely by driver buy outs. The delivery giant has also shuttered 93 buildings in 2025 as it adjusts is US network from its addiction to Amazon volume. Sorry because of a reduction, not addiction.
Finally this week Dole Foods has partnered with Minecraft on a multiphase global campaign designed around healthier lifestyles. Most see this as great news but we caught up with a members of the unions representing the Piglin army who are said to be disgusted at the imposition this puts them in. Many workers now will have to leave the nether and head to the overworld to fetch greens and vegetables from quiet spoken villagers. Pillaging and violence have to drop 70% and this is to be agreed before a green is eaten. The union representing the Villagers too are upset suggesting their locked and folded arms make it hard to do the 100 push ups a day being assigned to them in this mandatory agreement between the warring factions. You can’t please everyone I guess.
We’re buzzing to keep rolling with our sponsor, Omnisend — the email platform that’s officially Vinny-Proof. No needless jargon, no alphabet soup of nonsense. Just one acronym that matters: ROI. Because merchants are making $68 for every $1 spent on email.I reached out to them for a partner meeting before being told f*ckoff, it is a month before Black Friday. This was politely followed up with a service rating email.
Thats the 6 minutes you are not getting back this week.
