#ecommerce Welcome to The V Spot, your home for the ecommerce nearly news. Some people have said this is the weekly drip-feed of ecommerce truth, brewed dark and served without the investor relations froth.
This week retail was busy rebranding panic as “strategic agility.” Shopify went all-in on AI like it’s a summer fling they’ll ghost by Christmas. Amazon continued its mission to deliver everything, this time expanding Prime Pharmacy beyond the US, because why not get your antidepressants and dog food in the same box?
TikTok Shop is still trying to convince the West that livestreaming a lip gloss is as essential as rent. Walmart rolled out more store automation, Klarna keeps flirting with being an AI stylist, and UPS decided the only thing better than cutting delivery times is cutting jobs.
Right, enough mood music. Let’s do the news.
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#Shopify Shopify announced new AI features to “reimagine” storefront design. Translation: Fewer freelancers, more prompts. “Finally, your homepage can look like every other AI-generated homepage, but with your logo.”
#Amazon Because when you think cutting-edge global healthcare, you think Andy Jassy. “Nothing like picking up antibiotics with your same-day cat litter order.”
#TikTok TikTok says its Western markets will see “incremental” ecomm growth. The rest of us call that slow. “Apparently even the algorithm is side-eyeing your shopping cart.”
#Walmart New tech is taking over order picking and stock movement. “Perfect for customers who always dreamed their groceries would be judged by a robot called Greg.”
#Klarna’s Klarna’s latest AI tool will recommend products “based on mood.” Bad news, it knows you’re sad and is upselling wine and weighted blankets.”
#UPS UPS says it’s “optimising operations” while shedding thousands of jobs. “Nothing says efficiency like firing the person who knows where your package actually is.”
#Meta Meta is trialling AI that builds full ads from scratch for small businesses. : “Soon your cousin’s candle brand will have the same campaign creative as a Fortune 500.”
So there we have it, AI designing our stores, delivering our pills, writing our ads, and telling us which throw pillows match our mood swings. UPS is slimming down, Walmart’s speeding up, and TikTok Shop is taking baby steps while pretending to sprint.
Retail isn’t dead, it’s just outsourcing its personality to a chatbot.
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